Like many young women, I have been inundated with the world’s beauty ideals since birth. However, unlike my contemporaries, I am not concerned with having prominent rib bones and skin reminiscent of the dust left at the bottom of a Cheeto bag.
That, being said, I do want to be healthy and look my best.
Accordingly, I have tried multiple times to form habits to allow me to do so. The exercising habits have stuck pretty well. Unfortunately, the eating one has not. Why is this? Well, I will tell you.
My relationship with food is like that of a girl and her abusive boyfriend. I don’t need to keep going back to it, but I do. Even when I’m completely full, I’ll never say no to food. It doesn’t matter if I’m happy, sad, mad, whenever. It’s a problem. I eat to reward myself, and also to console myself. And also when I’m bored. And when I’m reading. Watching tv. At school.
And so on.
Luckily, my metabolism is fast enough that I’m not actually overweight (yet.) The media has not warped my view of myself to the point where I’m always telling my friends, ” Oh my gosh, you guys, I’m sooo fat! Look at stomach! That is FAT! No don’t tell me I’m skinny, I’m soooo fat!”
However, I know I could be doing better. So, the other day I decided that I was really going to stick to eating healthy/less food. Thiz desire came about after I realized I had just eaten three cupcakes. Determined to be able to wear a bathing-suit unashamedly this summer, I inwardly declared, “No more!” Essentially, I was breaking-up with the metaphorical abusive boyfriend.
To go along with my new diet plan, I decided to step up my workout. As I jogged along to my newly-created “workout” playlist on my iPod, I imagined all of the clothes I would be able to wear once I became fit and toned. After I finished, I congratulated myself on taking the first step towards becoming awesome. However, apparently my subconscious desire for food was stronger than my conscious desire to not turn into a whale, because before I knew it I was eating a waffle.
And ice cream.
The sad thing is that I DON’T EVEN LIKE WAFFLES. I don’t even like waffles. Plus they give me hiccups. And yet I still allowed them to ruin my diet plan after about two hours of starting.
And that’s all I have to say about that.